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Emotional Intelligence (n) the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.

It sounds like a trending buzz word stirred up in a lab by an excitable palm reader. But the truth is, this is a concept we should talk about, particularly when it comes to real estate and your real estate professional.

It is generally said to include three skills: (1) emotional awareness; (2) the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; (3) the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and cheering up or calming down other people.

  1. Emotional Awareness: Your agent should first and foremost, LISTEN. The home selling or purchasing process is all about you – therefore you should be the one doing the majority of the speaking. Especially at first. An agent with proper emotional awareness knows that the best way they can work for you is by understanding your exact needs. They should listen, ask questions, listen, ask follow-up questions, and listen. Then, when there is a lull, ask what else they need to know from you.
  2. Harness Emotions and Apply to Tasks like Problem Solving: It is a real estate agent’s job to help put aside emotional constraints and concentrate on the business of the transaction. Negotiation skills, likability, trust, sales tactics, and regular, clear communication are all Emotional Intelligence (EQ) characteristics.
  3. Regulating Emotions: It is NO stretch that real estate transactions can be an emotional rollercoaster. It is innate human nature to interpret body language, salesmanship, and not authentic motives. If your intuition tells you that your agent is genuine, you’re probably right. They should continue to educate you throughout the entire process, give you the support you need when the occasional hiccup ensues, and always be honest with you. Even bad news should have a delivery that your agent knows you can handle…as they should already know you very well if they’ve practiced (1) Emotional Awareness.

The fact is, there is a difference between sympathizing and empathizing. Your agent most likely cannot sympathize with your exact feelings and shouldn’t pretend to know what you’re going through. Rather, your real estate professional should have genuine empathy for your (perhaps) stressful situation by acknowledging your issues, concerns, and challenges. But instead of getting consumed by them, they should turn their energy to problem solving. My mom always told taught me, “There is a solution to every problem. You just need to find it.”

EQ happens to be a real and useful tool that we should understand and more over, ensure your real estate professional has. Sometimes if it sounds super insightful…it is!

Whitney Noble, Realtor with Coastline Properties

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